Jack Probyn · A Deadly Vice - Sample
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simon ashdown

D.O.B: 28.02.1975
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 172lbs
Hair Colour: balding
Eye Colour: brown
Current Occupation: Deputy Assistant Commissioner
First Seen: Standstill
Books Appeared In: Standstill, Floor 68
Meet The Characters - master (20).png

Middle-aged and middle-build. That best describes Simon Ashdown. He’s just come out of a deep mid-life crisis, where he focused all his efforts and energy on making himself look good. He spent the majority of his waking hours at work — either working, or in the gym. Not to mention, he’s eating healthier, only because the doctor’s said that if he doesn’t, he’s going to have a heart attack. And the last thing Simon wants is his body giving up on him, particularly over food, considering he’s consumed far worse in his time. 

Simon’s of medium height, and his arms and body are veiny. He has a strong grip, one that’s noticeable when you shake his hand. When Simon was a young adult — at some point in his early twenties — he had some work done on his face. He had a nose job. It had been broken in two different places when he was a child, and he never had the courage to get it fixed. Until he had the money. While they were fixing it, they also made it slightly smaller, so that it didn’t dwarf his face as much. 

Simon’s demeanour is both reserved and volatile. He is easy-going, so long as he is in a good mood. But there’s a darker side to him. A side that isn’t afraid to come out when aggravated. After all, he hasn’t got to the rank he is now without pissing off a few people in his time. He firmly believes in doing what’s right for the good of the country. But, every now and then, his words can land him in trouble. He likes to think he’s funny, but the majority of the time he isn’t. 


Childhood was a breeze for Simon. He did well in his exams — passed all of them with flying colours, actually. He was privately educated and offered a place at Eton, but he declined because he didn’t want it to ruin his credibility. He knew what people would think of him, and he wanted to be better than that. So instead he went to school and university up north. He realised life was a little more precarious and dangerous the further north of the M25 he got and decided to take up kickboxing. Shortly after, he excelled and performed in national competitions. He won a few of them, as well. 

To further disrupt the preconceived images he feared people may have of him, Simon went through a bad period in his life. Drugs. Alcohol. Prostitution — purchasing, not selling. He had many friends that led him down a very dark and deadly path. His arms are still skilled with the memory of his past. A past that, every now and then, he returns to in a controlled manner. 

But then everything changed when he was reunited with his wife at a golf tournament. Both of their parents were professional golfers, and they were invited to the after party. They hadn’t seen each other in years, and to Simon’s surprise, she was single. And so was he. It was the perfect match. Shortly after, Simon disappeared from his friends from the north and returned to the south where he began a life with her. He got himself off the drugs and found himself in the police service by accident. Well, it wasn’t much of an accident when his wife’s dad knew someone close to him in the service. At the end of the day, it came down to whom you know, and not what. Simon didn’t care. He’s earning over 100k a year, and he’s got a happy family life. Life’s good: a gorgeous wife, two children, and a job that keeps him busy and entertained. What more could he want?


Simon enjoys kickboxing. He has always had a fascination with martial arts, ever since he was a kid. That’s how he broke his nose. During school, he featured in a few national championships for both kickboxing and karate. Now a mature adult, he is much stronger and much more able to disarm someone. The only caveat being he isn’t nimble or flexible enough to complete as many manoeuvres as before. In fact, that’s where Simon met his wife. She was a member of the same class as him. She was there for very different reasons than him. They got talking one time, things developed, but then they disappeared as she moved to a different county. They never saw each other again.


One of Simon’s biggest dislikes is cyclists. He calls them Road Vermin, and he hates the way they take up all of the road on the city streets. There are cycle lanes for a reason. There have been a few instances where he has driven into an unsuspecting cyclist. It was their fault, of course — they were wearing headphones and didn’t look where they were going when they pulled out in front of him. Yeah, they might be better for the economy, but when he needs to get somewhere in a hurry, they’re the only thing that stands in his way. If he had it his way, he would ban bicycles and cyclists.  




Favourite food: fish and chips

Favourite drink: stell artios

Favourite book: Fight Club, by Chuck Palahniuk

Favourite film: Fight Club


What was his most embarrassing moment? I once vomited on the mat during a karate competition. My opponent kicked me so hard in the testicles I couldn’t breathe. Then I vomited. In front of everybody. On national television. It was mortifying. I had to forfeit the match because I couldn’t continue. 


What’s his greatest strength? I managed to crack three boards in half once when I was younger. Suppose that means I’m quite strong. But I’d say my greatest strength is being able to tell when people are lying to me. Human ​behaviour acts out of character. It’s quite fascinating. 

What’s his greatest flaw? Sometimes I can’t control myself with old habits. I get sober, then I dive back into that old world I’ve tried to leave so many times before. My wife doesn’t know about it, and I manage to keep it hidden from her and the kids — but it’s killing me every time I do it. And with each time, the effects become more problematic. 


Proudest achievement? Giving birth to my children. They’re my entire world. Raising them properly. There’s nothing I consider to be more important than them. 


Biggest secret… I’m responsible for more deaths than you know… this one was personal. 


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