‘What’s the score?’

‘I don’t know, how about you look at the number of balls left on the table?’

‘No, you twat. I meant the match. Who’s winning?’

‘Oh. Arsenal. 2–1. You’ve got two shots by the way.’

‘Why?’

‘I hit your ball first.’

*strikes the cue ball*

‘Everyone listen up! Nobody move or I’ll blow a hole in their face.’

Screams.

Cue ball pockets.

Arsenal score. 3–1.

Trigger is pulled.

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